Nightmares Can Take Shape In Human Form…

The only thing that can be more emotionally draining than dealing with hyperactive little darlings in your classroom, dear teacher, is to deal with difficult and somewhat unstable parents that have more mood swings than your average teenager!

Parents’ evening, or as I like to call it “Meet the Parents” can be the most daunting night of the year! It’s almost like a customer service warzone – Mommy and Daddy and little Johnny are always right and you are always wrong. When there is a problem with any subject with regards to poor marks, please don’t even let discussions go in the direction of little Johnny not paying attention in class or not doing homework, you need to sit back and analyse what you learnt while studying because clearly you are not conveying the message correctly. You all know exactly what I am talking about.

Always see yourself as a detective, collecting evidence and interviewing staff who have worked with the family in the past, but ultimately making up your own mind.

While there’s no definitive guidebook for what not to say and do, this basic guide for survival will pull you through… (along with a big glass of wine and a KFC bucket just to take that extra edge off!)

Be polite. Stand up and shake hands. Ask how they are. Ensure they feel comfortable and super important – offer them a drink, for example. Take off your jacket to give a “casual” feel. Sit with them, not opposite them. And if you like, you can keep some pepper spray under the table – just for in case!

Be prepared to listen. Your ear is going to be chewed off regardless if this is going to be in a negative or a positive way. Look interested, nod constantly and ensure that you have a fidget spinner close by to alleviate some of that stress!

Work in partnership. Help parents to achieve their aims for the meeting, not just yours (because yours predominantly consists of getting the heck out of there and watching the new episode of Game of Thrones!) Assign responsibility to yourself, them and the student. A war cannot be won alone, everybody needs to be held accountable, even though you know in the end you are carrying that alone.

Ensure you follow up. Sum up the exchange and be ready to set up a subsequent meetings and chats. Even if you feel that no news is good news, difficult parents always want to be kept in the loop. Even if you gush over how beautiful little Sarah writes in her book, make sure they know it! It will keep them off your back for being an ‘absent’ teacher and will do wonders for your sanity.

If you have a “difficult parent,” and in spite of your best efforts and following all the tips you possible could and it all falls apart, I’d say don’t take it personally but it’s hard not to. So, fine – internalise it. Own it. Talk to colleagues (better than a spouse, whose emotional reserves you may want to save for more pressing issues in education). Cry if you need to. And then let it go!

Love and light dear teacher, I salute you!